LIVING WITH A SANGUINE
A sanguine personality trait is characterized by enthusiastic people who are lively, very talkative, overly animated, fun-loving, extremely spontaneous and generally very expressive. They can be quite fun to live with as they take life easily, “it’s never that serious, we will not die from this”, are some of their everyday slogans. When faced with tough issues they address them with utmost positivity and they just want to please everybody in the world. Sanguines are also very trusting and actually they get involved with a lot strangers without finding it strange at all. As a matter of fact they tend to be very accommodative and they do not think that somebody/anybody can be outright malicious towards them.
On the flip side these individuals are very disorganized, very forgetful and they pay little to no attention to the details. Sanguines rarely follow up on assignments they have allocated to their juniors or helpers. They simply believe that the individual that have been assigned the work will do it without realizing that what is not supervised cannot be done well.
Marriage in my opinion is the single institution that reveals our personalities ever so well that we are dazzled or ashamed of whom we truly are. It is the place where we come face-to-face with who we are and the idea of us being perfect is challenged and instead we aspire growth and we actually grow. We become intentional in seeking wisdom and knowledge and overcoming our flaws. Our better half’s after years of relating to the hyper person decide to say it as it is, “darling, you are too noisy, hyper and you talk too much, you interrupt people in the middle of their sentences, you are not doing so well in organizing your help to help you organize the house.” We feel bad and unappreciated then we think through it and it is so true so we try to make amends only for it to come crumbling down again sooner rather than later.
Tips for living with your sanguine spouse:
- Appreciate them
- Listen Listen Listen!
- Help lovingly
- Do not take advantage
Sanguines are extremely relational and they will do everything in their power to please everyone. They thrive when appreciated for their good work. They like it when they are reminded that they were good hosts, they dressed well, the food they cooked tasted heavenly etc
They talk a lot and they take joy in that. Listen to all their stories even when they go ahead of themselves and start laughing without you really understanding what the story was all about.
Like I mentioned these people can be very disorganized. They are after all not keen to details. In a loving way find a way of helping your mate keep the order as you may like. You can get extra shelves or cabinets, draw schedules and keep diaries and food timetables. Please do not put them down; you need them happy because they will make you happy as well. Remind them to do what you want done. Help where you can.
We tend to forget and move on so fast. Actually there are so many times when we get hurt and refuse to be put down. The biggest reason why sanguines do this is they cannot imagine remaining downcast the whole day. We often feel that the day was wasted. We want to take part in all the laughters of the day and appreciate the goodness of each minute and we therefore choose to overlook much heartache. Please do not take advantage of the fact that they do not dwell in what hurt them to repeat it. It hurts.
Living with us can be fun but just like many other personalities we are a double edged sword. Knowledge is power; now you know when you encounter sanguines what you are getting yourself into.
About the writer
My name is Virginiah Musawa. I have been married for 5 years to Simon Musawa and I am a mother to two children; Ivannah Zawadi and Illes Jabali. I have a Sangune personality and I bless the Lord for the gift of life and family.
Professional tips
Personalities in a marriage are a source of conflict. That is so because each of the personalities believe their perspective and view of life is the best. In many cases, human beings are attracted to a personality that is different from their own and largely these are the people who get married. Have you heard of cases of conflicts arising from how to squeeze tooth paste? Whereas one partner squeezes toothpaste from the central point and the other from the bottom, each sees nothing wrong with what they do but everything wrong with the other perspective. Where one wants outdoor meetings and the other indoors for relaxation? One wants order and the other one says there is no harm in waiting? One wants conflicts resolved now and the other feel later is fine, one wants to spend all when they earn and the other is a planner? Welcome to the world of personality difference.
For any two personalities to live together in harmony:
- They need to do a personality test to establish and understand ones’ personality
- Labour to understand their partner’s personality
- Have each improve themselves through personal development-personality is an area a person can work at making adjustments especially on the negative aspects.
- Work on harmonizing the difference so that each of the partners leads in their area of strength.
- Understand that there is no personality superior to the other, and all need proper management.
- Seek professional help should the couple find it difficult to resolve their issues.
Professional Tips By Joan Kirera - Psychologist/ Marriage and Family Therapist.